A story I probably shouldn't tell......

The names have been changed to protect the unsuspecting and the innocent.

Once there was a teacher who had dealt with her bra straps falling down all day. Those straps weren't just falling off a little; they would fall halfway down her arms and even restrict her arm movement. She would pull them up and they would fall back down over and over again all day long. It was driving her CRAZY!!!!!!!!!! Soooooooo after school she just couldn't take it anymore. Almost everyone had left the building and she was standing by the copy machine and said to herself, "I can just take this blasted bra off now!!!" She did hope no one came in and also that there wasn't a surveillance camera hidden somewhere. Ever so carefully, she unfastened the bra and immediately felt a freedom as it came loose and even more relief when the straps were taken down through the arms of her red school hoodie. She remained very discreet during this action. It seemed as years had passed since this freedom had been felt before, but in reality it had only been the day before.  She put it in the front pocket of her hoodie and really meant to take it out when she got back to her room and put it in her school bag, but with everything on her mind she forgot. After school, she headed to Subway to fix a lovely dinner for her beloved husband. The teacher was standing in line at Subway when a voice comes from behind her and says, "Are you cooking dinner like I am?" She turns around and sees Coach and wife, Susan and daughter. This teacher had taught with Susan on another campus in our district and they don't see each other very often so they had quite a conversation that almost prevented her from getting dinner ready. While the teacher was talking, she was messing with her pockets and just happened to look down and realized that perhaps Susan and Coach had seen her pastel blue bra with cherry blossoms coming out of her pocket. She quickly pushed it into her pocket and was very mortified even though most female teachers WEAR bras; they don't CARRY them in their pockets.  Thoughts of Coach clouded her thoughts as she imagined he was thinking about the crazy 2nd grade teacher from his school that was apparently not wearing a bra because it was hanging out of her pocket. Moral of story: If you happen to feel restricted by an undergarment and take it off at work, remember not to carry it around with you for others to see. Also consider buying new bras!!!!!

Funny student stories

Since I'm retiring at the end of this school year, I've been thinking I should write down some of the funny events that have occurred in my classroom. One day last week a student handed me an empty Wal-Mart sack first thing in the morning. I asked, "Is this trash honey? Do you want me to throw it away?" She looked at me and said, "No, you told me to bring a bag to school." I thought and thought and was coming up clueless. She told me it was on the note I sent home. I said, "Oh, sweetie, you were supposed to bring a bag of conversation hearts!!!"

We are currently doing our fairy tale unit and the culminating activity will be cereal box book reports and a parade where students dress as the fairy tale character from their report. I asked my students to bring an empty cereal box to school so I would know they had one. Two weeks later 2 students have brought a cereal box. For two weeks, I have also put a note about the cereal box on homework online, and this note is printed and given to each student. They put it in the homework section of their notebooks in a sheet protector so it is very accessible for everyone. I asked parents to let me know if they did not have a cereal box. I haven't heard from anyone. This brings me to Feb. 3rd, the day after the hundredth day of school. I have an empty cereal box from one of the snacks that students brought for our celebration. I once again talk about cereal boxes and ask if each student has one. My Junie B. Jones (a very adorable but somewhat mischievous book character) brought the cereal box so I ask her if she needs it for her book report. She says yes so I give it to her and she puts it in her cubby. At the end of the day, Junie comes up to me and says very seriously, "This cereal box is empty." To which I replied, "Sweetie, you brought the cereal for the hundredth day of school and we ate it yesterday with our hundred item snack mix. That's the reason your box is empty. You told me you needed a cereal box for your book report." Poor Junie looks very puzzled and doesn't seem to understand why I have given her an empty box to take home. OH MY!!! I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Where did I go wrong?!?!